Undo it
by wildtiger7
Summary: Kalinda offers to help Cary when he runs into a problem with a case.


Undo it

"Finding something on him."

"Anything in particular?"

Eli shrugged. "Anything I can hang him with."

Kalinda turned and walked out. She pulled out her phone and looked down at it, as she considered calling Cary and asking him to meet her somewhere. She considered the likelihood that he would, and put the phone away. She'd just have to stalk him until the appropriate time presented itself.

Kalinda sat in her car in the near-empty parking garage. She had watched Cary leave his car an hour earlier. She was pretty sure he was talking to one of the security guards who had been on duty when a mugging had turned into a murder in front of the building. She wished he would hurry up, it was awfully late.

She thought back to what Eli had told her earlier about Cary, and was rather impressed with his snooping skills of late. She didn't think that was the reaction Eli was going for when he told her how Cary had used satellite images to locate the probable location of a murder victim. Cary had taken these images, along with a bounced check given to the victim by the defendant a few days before the victim disappeared, to a judge for a search warrant. This had resulted in another body to lay at the feet of a man already accused of one murder.

Much to Peter and Eli's distress, this had occurred after they had told him to drop the case. The father of the defendant was a mover and shaker of the Illinois political scene, with deep ties in both the business and political world. It was not seen as sound operating procedure to pursue a capital charge against his son.

Further complicating matters, the father was a principle client of Lockhart/Gardner. Diane and Alicia were representing the son, Richard Adams, in the criminal trial.

Kalinda was rather disgusted by the whole thing. She normally just shrugged the cases off - for her, it was the thrill of the inquiry that mattered, not the outcome her information produced. But Adams had initially claimed that he was with Kalinda at the time when his girlfriend was raped and murdered (as though she'd be with his pathological ass!), which both Diane and Alicia knew wasn't true, because Kalinda had been working late with them at the office. Adams had laughed it off and claimed he got his nights confused, had said that he was home with his mom.

Cary had had fun poking holes in the alibi, as well as other stories concocted by that pathological liar. Kalinda was and wasn't surprised he had been unwilling to give up the case. Surprised because she could easily name half a dozen other cases Cary had been asked to drop for dubious reasons, and those were just the ones she knew about. Not surprised because this asshole needed to be nailed to the wall before he did any more damage.

Finally, she saw him returning to his car. She quickly opened her door and called his name, eager to get to him before he could conveniently disappear on her.

He turned to her with a smile, but not before she caught the surprise that was his initial response.

"Hi, Kalinda, fancy meeting you here."

Kalinda returned his smile. Had he been someone else, she would have proceeded with a bit of flirting. Cary wouldn't appreciate it. "Why won't you drop the Adams case?" she asked.

Cary made a face. "Why do you care?" They stood facing each other, a few feet apart, their location forgotten.

Kalinda shrugged. "I just want to know."

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing important."

"Then why won't you drop it?"

"It's important to me."

"What is important to you?"

"You never ask me personal questions."

"You get defensive when I do."

"I get defensive because I know you're fishing for something. What are you fishing for this time?"

"Cary, I'm just asking as a friend."

"So we're friends again? Good to know." The statement was more sad and weary than bitter.

Kalinda paused, regarding him. She had not thought this would be easy, and he wasn't in the mood to humor her. So she changed tactics. "Why did you want to know about what happened between Peter and I?"

The sudden change in track exasperated Cary. "Because I was trying to protect you! It's easier to do that if I know what is going on."

Kalinda stared at him, waiting for him to figure it out. She watched the expressions move across his face, from confusion to comprehension to disbelief. She had no intention of acknowledging the last one.

"You're trying to protect me, Kalinda?" A smile played across his face. The note of disbelief made it hard to ignore his matching expression.

"Yeah," she said. She wasn't smiling.

His smile faded. "Why?"

"Why do you protect me?"

"Because I like you and don't want you to get hurt."

She looked at him.

Cary gave a small shake of his head and a sigh of frustration. "As much as I appreciate it, Kalinda, isn't not worth getting involved in. It's something I did to myself."

"So it was with me. You looked after me anyway."

Cary gave a more emphatic shake of his head this time. "No, that was Childs going after you to get at somebody else."

"You're the one who told me to tell Alicia what happened. I should have listened."

Cary blinked. She had surprised him. "You didn't?"

It was Kalinda's turn to shake her head. "She found out and I didn't tell her. You were trying to protect me from myself."

"I'm sorry I didn't do a better job," he said softly.

Kalinda wasn't entirely sure she kept from looking visibly pained. "You did what you could," she responded, just as quietly. "Cary. Let me help you. Eli Gold asked me to look into you, find something he and Peter can use to get you to drop the Adams case."

"Peter could just fire me." It came out both bitter and defeated. More defeated, though, and that worried Kalinda. She was used to Cary and bitter; she had no familiarity with Cary and defeated.

"Peter's not going to fire you before the election. That would bring unwanted attention to what he does in the SA's office." Cary sighed and looked disgruntled. "Why won't you give up this case?" Kalinda asked, softly. She had seen him wince when she said the word 'election'.

"Because of the cop shooting an unarmed civilian. Because a killer walked free because his daddy was a real estate developer with a lot of money and connections. Because a serial rapist got two years in jail instead of twenty so the problem would go away. Look, I know this case doesn't look like much, doesn't mean anything to you and you can't understand why it means anything to me. But I can't do it anymore, Kalinda. I can't keep walking away when I know I should keep pushing. With each case that I was asked to handle in a certain way because of the potential impact on Peter's campaign without any reference to the victims or future consequences, I would say to myself that this was the last one, or that it wasn't that bad, try to justify it. I can't anymore, I'm too tired of fighting for the wrong reasons."

"You did it with Childs. He had political reasons for going after Peter."

"Yeah, but he went directly after Peter, he didn't put aside other cases to do it."

For a moment, Kalinda forgot that she completely agreed with him, and found herself angry at Cary's disillusionment. "What did you expect? It's a political office."

Cary's face hardened and his posture went rigid. "I'm not naive. I know that. I just didn't think it would be so pervasive. I thought I could handle it. I guess I can't. Sorry." He practically spat the last word.

Kalinda wished she could take her previous statement back. He had enough to deal with, he didn't need her adding her disapproval. That wasn't her intention. "Cary..."

He turned away from her. "Look, Kalinda, thanks for trying to help, but it's really not worth it. Not over this." He turned his head back, gave her a small smile. "Have fun finding something for Eli. I'm sure you will."

"I don't want to find something for Eli," she said as he moved away.

Cary stopped, though he kept his back to her. "It's your job."

"It was your job to get that grand jury to indite me."

Cary wiped around to face her, frowning. "I felt what Childs was doing was wrong. You think I'm wrong."

Kalinda shook her head. "No, I don't."

Cary closed his eyes and sighed. "Eli will just find someone else to get him what he wants."

"I can make sure he doesn't."

Cary opened his eyes to regard her. She could see how upset he was. "I still don't understand why you're doing this."

Kalinda moved closer. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"It's a little late for that."

"I don't want to see you get hurt more." She could tell he didn't believe her. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I want to, I just... every time I start to believe you, I end up getting hurt. I'd rather get hurt because I wouldn't give up a worthwhile case for political reasons. I can handle it better."

Kalinda swallowed. "I never wanted it to be this way, with you."

"I know. I'm sorry I care so much." He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "That's your problem with me, isn't it? It's that I care about you. You could handle me wanting to sleep with you. That one's easy for you. You don't like that I care, that's why you back away every time I remind you of that."

"Yeah."

Cary stared at her, at a loss. This entire conversation had not gone the way he would have predicted. He had to admit that was probably because he never would have thought he would have a conversation like this with Kalinda. Kalinda didn't do conversations. Not real ones, anyway.

When he didn't make any effort to do anything, Kalinda reached up to touch his face. "I'm not going anywhere."

Cary reached for her hand. She could see how much he wanted to believe her, and it was killing her that he couldn't. Had she really screwed things up with him that badly?

He took her hand off his face, but he didn't let it go. They regarded each other in silence. She rubbed her thumb along his fingers. He returned the pressure.

"Let's go," she whispered softly. He couldn't do anything but nod.


End file.
